Missed me? I've missed me! That's a bit unsettling and narcissistic, isn't it? But show me a blog that isn't a little unsettling and narcissistic, and I'll make you dinner. Please enter your dietary restrictions in the comments. It's a couple days away from 2016, and I'm all aflutter. Rather than an unrealistic fad diet or a commitment to swear less (LOL), I've decided to attempt something much more ridiculous in the year 2016: I'm going to write every single day for the next year. Some of it will be published here, and some of it will be published at my day gig , and some of it will be published on my instagram feed , but I'm committing myself to writing one of these three places every day of 2016, and see who I am on the other side of it. 2015 was big, what with introducing the Copper Pot into the world and flailing about somewhat aimlessly with a horse who hates life, and then quitting my full time job. So I want to be absolutely sure th...

Sometimes when I'm a little stressed from working three jobs and not being able to sleep and worrying about money and my dumb horse, I look at the baby somewhere in my immediate vicinity or in my arms, and I instantly feel better. She's like the human manifestation of an orange cat's purr. But sometimes all those things are happening, and my baby is far away being babysat by a loving grandma while I sit and fester at a cubicle. For those occasions, I just close my eyes.... Okay, no, first I open my Spotify and locate the Reggae. I find the classic reggae favorites playlist, hit shuffle, and THEN I close my eyes. Then I imagine I'm back in my sassy rental car cruising around the Kalanianaole Highway on Oahu with the windows down in March, the smell and distant sound of the ocean permeating the cabin. My fancy mini bananas are on the seat next to me, and I literally don't have a single care in the whole entire world. I went on that trip to see my BFF get m...

1. Marriage Equality. Such a good day. 2. I've got a barn and a family baby shower in the next 4 days, which normally sounds just terrifying, except it's with all my favorite people, so it will be awesome. 3. A puppy came to the office today. I got nothing done for an hour and my hands smell like puppy. #winning 4. The barn now has a new outdoor jumping arena with new sandy footing, and the indoor arenas are getting rubber composite footing. If you're not a horse person, I'm sorry you had to struggle through that. If you're a horse person, thanks for struggling through everything else to get to that part, because, I KNOW, RIGHT? So exciting. 5. I had a salami sandwich for breakfast. No regrets. 6. Relevant to the previous item, my baby doctor lady ran some tests and told me I need to eat more spinach and red meat, drink a gatorade, and keep my feet up. So I'm pretty sure I've been medically ordered to have a relaxing barbecue every day for the re...

Over the past several months, I've been very lucky to share the pregnancy experience with friends, family, past and current coworkers whose pregnancies overlapped and mirrored mine. It's been such a huge help! Being pregnant is both a lonesome journey that can only be made alone and also an incredibly uniting state that you share with a pretty good chunk of the population. Over the weekend, Dan and I went off the grid for a couple days to spend time with family in a land where magically our phones don't work even if we wanted them to, and it was blissful. When we got back to civilization, I discovered that a solid half of my "pregnant clan" had given birth...early. Babies are all healthy and fine and going home soon if not home already, and that's the most important thing. But immediately after determining that important information, I turned white as a sheet and felt sick to my stomach. Women due AFTER me just had healthy fat babies. I'm in the zone w...

It had never, ever, in a million years, been my intention to star in my own equestrian-themed Lifetime Movie wherein a girl meets and falls in love with a difficult wild horse wrangled into captivity from her desert home, and as the two slowly build their partnership, it becomes clear that only this girl, and this girl alone, can tame the mighty beast! So romantic. So stupid. So impractical. So inconvenient. Unequivocally the story of my life. Since I adopted Itxa 2 years ago Sunday, I've let exactly six people ride her. Three of those people were professionals, two of those people were riding at the walk, and one was pretty much my favorite teenager of all time. I can't say that any one of those rides was especially comforting to me, and some of them were just downright traumatizing. Not because the professionals weren't people who I trusted implicitly, but because Itxa's reactions to them were so vehemently negative and riddled with paranoia that no good could com...

JJ: My pick-up line most of the time is 'Hi, I'm JJ, I'm divorced, have a kid, and live with my parents.' Amy Schumer: Is that true? JJ: That's totally true. [look of sheer and utter glee and delight crosses Amy Schumer's face, takes a swig of white wine.] JJ: Is that bad, should I not say that? Amy Schumer: I LOVE THAT. JJ: Probably I shouldn't try to do that Steven Tyler kickstand on the mic stand? Amy Schumer: No, I think that's a really, really good idea. JJ: Sometimes I feel like I'm too smart for like, 90% of the audience. Gets me in trouble. Amy Schumer: I'm gonna make you feel better. You're not. [cutaway to Amy Schumer confessional interview] Amy Schumer: JJ is a sweetheart. He's just missing charisma, humility, and a sense of humor. Basically, you should hire him as your next Bachelor. Maybe when he watches the show he'll reflect back on himself and not....be such a turd.

After 24 weeks of the gestational experience, you get pretty used to 2 things: thinking about the fact that dogs only gestate for 6 weeks, and feeling a squid-like creature violate you in various charming ways from the inside out. I can't begin to explain how mixed my feelings are about this experience. Every instinct tells me it's the creepiest damn thing that's ever happened to me, and yet, I'm completely obsessed with the next time I'll feel my prodigy knocking out a bedroom wall in there to make room for a crafting space. (She's going to DIE when she finds out about Pinterest). So this morning when I was getting ready, driving to work, and enjoying my morning tea at my desk and I realized in a panic that "renovations" were awfully quiet this morning, I started to needlessly panic like any good first time gestator. Fortunately, I have learned from friends and internets that drinking ice cold water and laying on your back can kick construction back...

I just watched this short film. But just because I'm putting it here doesn't mean I'm endorsing it. Did I think it was sweet? Sure. Did I cry? Of course I did. I'm pregnant. McDonalds Arches glowing radiantly in front of an epic sunset make me cry right now. The bar for that has been set exceptionally low. But let me give you the cliff notes of what this 8-minute movie (which was almost certainly made by a man) is all about: Woman cooks and cleans and does laundry for her husband, even though they both appear to have equally demanding full time jobs. She insists she does this, because it's important his coworkers can tell from his crisp white shirts that his wife loves him. (GAAAAAG.) He doesn't seem to put up much fuss about this. Woman goes blind, and because she feels she can no longer serve her husband, feels unworthy of his love. Woman appears to slowly learn to adapt and continue cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and going to her demanding f...

1. This is probably the most boring "new look" my blog has ever had, and yet, it's still incredibly turquoise. We'll see how long it lasts before I inevitably bedazzle it. 2. Speaking of bedazzle, I feel like this woman accurately captures all of my childhood fantasies about the fashion choices I would make as a grown-up when I had the liberty and finances to do so. I'm a little sad that I haven't lived up to that, but certainly, it's not too late! 3. The reigniting of my desire to write about my personal life happens to coincide with the fact that I am pregnant. While I probably will mention the whole pregnancy, motherhood, cute baby thing here, do not fear- I have no intention of suddenly becoming a mommy blogger. I think the internet has enough of those without me, and I still have way too many things to say about Corn Dogs. 4. For example, THIS IS A THING . My beloved life partner apparently knew this existed AND EVEN ATE THERE months before men...