Today I am just plum tuckered out after a knock down drag out fight with my mechanic, and making the subsequent dozens of calls to my insurance, the other guy's insurance, the new mechanic, claims adjustors, and of course, to my dad. While my father may live 800 miles away, having him in the automotive loop is good, and frankly, even at the age of 25.92, I still like knowing that if things get messy I can still send in the scary sounding dad to scare the crap out of someone who thinks they can take advantage of me. In the end, he's taught me so well that I seem to be able to take care of myself, and thoroughly scare the crap out of someone on my own if necessary. I don't like to be mean, and it's probably not how the Dalai Lama would handle it if HE had hit a dump truck's drive shaft on the interstate. But you know what? No one ever thinks to take advantage of His Holiness. And certainly not auto mechanics. Now a cute wittle thing like me in a business skirt and h

If the accident I'd been in on I-15 yesterday had been my final reckoning, it would have been deeply and profoundly unjust in every imaginable way. A newlywed, a new homeowner, a bright young little thing with ambition to change the world and sing songs to ponies and annoy her cat as much as he annoys her. I hope that's what you'd say, anyway, when singing my restful praises. But in one, small, fraction of a minutia sort of way, it would have been just timing. You see, as my car launched momentarily in the air after running over the drive train in the slow lane of I-15, I had a flash of a thought. It only lasted perhaps 1/100 of a second before I returned to thinking about how to control my car, how to get over to the side of the freeway, whether or not my vehicle was about to explode, etc., but I did clearly think to myself "If I die, my last meal on earth would be a corn dog. How nice."  It's true. Earlier that day, I devoured one of the most delectable

Nothing Says "I love you" Like a Sunrise Trip To Wally-World: Let's Rewind to Last Night: Dan: I think I'm allergic to Splenda Lorraine: Uh, Why? Dan: Because I had some today, and now my throat feels tight and scratchy like when you're getting a cold Lorraine:Are you sure that you're not just getting a cold? Dan: No, this is different. I can tell. Lorraine: mmmk. I'm gonna go take some Emergen-C now. This Morning at 6am: Dan: I have a cold. Lorraine: Uh Huh. Ergo, my trip to wally world to get the man some gummy vitamins (which I am sure he will overdose on) some mocha mint cough drops (which I will probably eat instead of him) and a humidifier, because I think that's what his mom used to do when he was little. My mom used to get me coloring books and crayons, which I meant to get, but Walmart is so damn big I forgot whilst walking through 26 aisles of cold products. Jacksons are dropping like flies, y'all. Group funeral, I'

As you can see from my Opal-ish melodramatic post from yesterday, our tiniest Jackson was quite ill. I tossed and turned all night and couldn’t quite put my finger on what was bothering me, but when I awoke myself at around 5:30, I had a sick feeling in my gut. The cat should have been bothering us all night as he always does, and we usually lock him out of the room at around 3 or 4. But he never came. I looked around the house and finally found him right under our bed, and looking dreadful. I knew instantly that he was sick, and my first instinct was a tummy ache of some sort, but the more I watched, the more I realized it was something much worse than that. His eyes were two different sizes, and it looked as if one side of his face was rather limp. He had a twitch, and it seemed as if his vision and maybe even his coordination was impaired. Having seen a 7 foot tall thoroughbred once do the same thing after sustaining a neurologically damaging injury, I was not comforted by what I sa

Christopher Smart was born in 1722 in Shipbourne, Kent, England. After college, Smart earned a living in London editing and writing copy for periodicals and composing songs for the popular theater. During this time, he became known for his reckless drinking and spending habits; he was arrested for debt in 1747. In the 1750s Smart developed a form of religious mania that compelled him to continuous prayer, and was confined to an institution for nearly all the remainder of his life. Smart is well known for his distinctive and oft anthologized homage to his cat, Jeoffrey. For I will consider my Cat Jeoffrey. For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way. For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness. For having done duty and received blessing he begins to consider himself. For this he performs in ten degrees. For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean. For secondly he kicks up behind to

1. I could spread these out, so that in a month when I haven't posted in, well, a month, you'd have something to read, but I kind of like surprising you. 2. Temple Grandin was FUNNY. Really, really, funny. That was the best part of it. I knew when she pointed out how silly it is that algebra is a prerequisite for geometry when they INVENTED geometry first that she and I were destined to be dear friends. Well, I suppose I'm not that lucky, but destined for me to admire her. It was perfect. 3. I had no idea the inspiration for Rainman was a guy from Utah. I learned that last night. 4. Do you think it's okay to be excited about things you know only you are excited about, and your husband chooses to be lovingly supportive of from afar?  I do.  Sometimes I try to convert him to things, but some things are mine. But then I wonder if I'm supposed to be missing him, and wishing he were there with me, and then I feel guilty for not wishing he was there, because I am ev

Tonight is an important night to me, personally and professionally. I'm going to see Temple Grandin speak, who is one of my true heroes for so many reasons. I first read her research on autism in college, not knowing she was autistic until later, I saw her speak about therapeautic riding in a documentary while living in DC 3 years ago, I read her research on humane cattle slaughter when researching it for horse slaughter last year, and most recently, I watched the HBO movie about her life. All of these experiences came to me from different places and for different reasons, but it's almost as if she's been a constant in my life, no matter how much my own life and interests and experiences seem to change. Tonight, I will get to hear her speak in person, and I will get to applaud her life and her ambition and her contribution. Temple Grandin has probably done more for the face of autism than any other person alive, and made more positive changes for her industry than any ot

Let's just say that if Halloween were the middle east peace process, Dan and I would be begrudgingly shaking hands between a Nobel Peace Prize Winner. I feel about Halloween the way Dan feels about Thanksgiving, and vice versa.  Halloween might be my favorite holiday, and Thanksgiving my least favorite. For Dan, it's quite the opposite. But alas, he indulged some of my requests (going to a Halloween party, watching scary movies, putting up cobwebs on the porch) and I agreed to nix some of my preferred activities (no haunted houses, no matching costumes, no ghost hunting in abandoned buildings). Well, a picture is worth a thousand words, right? So I present, "Frida Kahlo" and "Walmart's cheapest cat costume".