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Showing posts from January, 2016

Big Mac.

Today I got a Big Mac. I haven't been eating much meat lately and even less beef, but it's kind of a tradition for me to get one after a major horse event.  Today, that major horse event was getting Itxa on a trailer and saying goodbye.  It may or may not be a permanent situation, but it's a significant step in untangling myself from a several year relationship that just hadn't gone how I had hoped. There's not a single part of me that isn't shattered, gutted, disappointed. It's not that I feel like a failure- it's that I failed her. I have only loved a couple things in this world more than I loved that mare, but years of hard work and all my love couldn't make her happy. It couldn't fix whatever unknown trauma she has endured. Five of the best trainers I've ever known could get her roughly compliant, but never happy, and never fully trustworthy. There was always something dark lurking there that we could not fix.  She is now in her last ditc

Instagram 1.20.2016

We rescued what was left of this saddle from the barn of my husband's great grandfather, and it now proudly hangs in our daughter's nursery. The Jacksons ran cattle and sheep in Southern Utah for decades, and we feel lucky that we can share that legacy with the next generation through this treasured relic. #horsenation #cowgirltough A photo posted by Lorraine (@lorraine.jackson) on Jan 19, 2016 at 11:36am PST

Instagram 1.16.2016

Our microwave broke, and in my desperation to enjoy the Indian curry leftovers in our fridge, I bought the nearest cheap microwave on KSL that would meet me today. And only when I got home did I realize I had acquired the EXACT. SAME. MICROWAVE. Manufactured 3 months apart. Will it break in 3 months? Don't care, I got my curry. 🍛🍚🍲 A photo posted by Lorraine (@lorraine.jackson) on Jan 16, 2016 at 3:53pm PST

Ground Control to Major Tom

When I first saw the news in the wee hours of yesterday morning that David Bowie had died far too young by a terrible disease, I cursed as my gut twisted, and I tried to wrestle myself back to sleep. When I first saw his last gift to us mere mortals in his music video 'Lazarus', I didn't feel like cursing and crying anymore, I felt profound awe that a man would share the intimate experience of death with the world in such a bold and vulnerable way. A groundbreaking artist to the end- It was just so damned Bowie. The baby and I spent the rest of the day getting her all taught up on Goblin King by watching all of his insanely crazy work that spans more than 4 decades of humanity, and we danced our pants off in the living room of our pioneer house to Fame and The Jean Genie and of course Let's Dance.  I can bring myself to feel anger about cancer being what it is, but I can't bring myself to feel sadness about David Bowie's death. He was always so

Very Important Mustangs

On Sunday Itxa moved to yet another new barn - this time to enter dressage boot camp with one of the most impressive trainers and kindest people I've ever met. And for the first time in a long time I have hope for this little mare.  She's shown brief glimpses of potential amidst so much inner turmoil, but now she's in the right hands to actually succeed.  While I'm really so pleased that she was able to do some of this on her first day: I'm even more happy that she did some of this:  She had been so wound up and tense and disenfranchised the past couple months that it was really meaningful to watch her release all this stress she's been holding. She's been chewing and yawning and standing politely (for the most part) a lot since she got to her new home, and that is really a huge part of what I'm hoping to work through in the next few months.  Beyond any goal or hope or forward looking idea, though, it was just powerful to watch her yawn and be content in

Instagram 1.3.16

From earlier this week. One of my favorite things about a snowy winter is how pristinely clean the horses hooves get, so I can see the incredible art and science that is a perfect hoof. The anatomy, the ecosystem, the beautiful colors. Basically, there is something really wrong with me. #itxagram #horsesofinstagram #horsenation #barefoothorse A photo posted by Lorraine (@lorraine.jackson) on Jan 2, 2016 at 10:08pm PST

Plan B

If omens are real, today's was not a good one. It was supposed to be a tremendously productive day writing about numerous inspiring, bizarre, endearing and death-defying horses and their people from around the globe, but instead I spent the day fighting a cold, holding a cranky baby, and constantly refreshing the home page to see if my company's servers had come back online yet. (They haven't.) I stopped all of my fretting long enough to enjoy the triumphant return of Sherlock on PBS, and was shook up a moment by this lovely bit from our protagonist:  "Fear is wisdom in the face of danger. It is nothing to be ashamed of." While I'm quite fortunate not to be in any eminent danger, my situation is admittedly less safe than it used to be. Freelancing can be quite good work, and other times precarious and unrewarding work. And I can't say I've been overwhelmingly fearless in the face of my new full time responsibilities.  That being said, I